Have you ever...
...tried
using a key
instead
of a quarter
to
unlock an Aldi
shopping
cart?
...shoplifted
$1,000
of
Legos from Target,
not
for "family members",
but
to sell?
...worked
for Grubhub,
made
a measly $6.69
on a
delivery that
totalled
$25.47?
...left
a restaurant,
paying
for your meal
on
your way out, because
you
didn't like your relatives?
...shot
down a Chinese
spy
balloon since that is
your
job flying a fighter jet
from
a Carolina air force base?
I
have done none of these Google-able
things,
yet I have been on the front page
of
local 20th century newspapers twice,
once
as a Barnes Park teenage turtle racer,
and
again in the El Monte bus station
performing
poetry in a safety jacket
to
waiting riders about French toast,
street
football, and spring love
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